We can’t control all the factors that affect our health. But we can learn to control our thoughts. And thinking more positively can make a big difference in our happiness and our health.

You don’t have to think positively about everything, all the time. What we want are realistic thoughts. We want to change unrealistically negative thoughts into more accurate, positive ones.  

How can negative, or distorted, thoughts hurt you? Here are a few examples: 

• If you believe you can’t do something (like change your diet), you may not even try. 
• If you think nothing can help your condition; you will be stressed and depressed. 
• If you think physical activity will make your pain worse; you will stay on the couch and get more out of shape and have more pain. 

Can you think of others?

Common Unrealistic Negative Thoughts:

Overgeneralization. “Always” or “Never” statements – “I never follow through on my plans.” “Nobody cares.”

Fortune Telling. Thinking you can predict the future or predict how other people will react. “If people see how slow I walk, they won’t want to come out with me.” “My father died of cancer. I’m going to, too.”

Focusing on the Negative / Ignoring the Positive. Looking at the bad and not the good. “She didn’t come to my birthday party. She must not like me,” (Ignoring that she sent you a lovely card and a present.)

Blaming Yourself or Others.“It’s my fault I have heart disease. I stress too much.” “It’s my family’s fault I have diabetes – they keep offering me sweets.”

All or Nothing. If it’s not a full success, it’s a complete failure. “I wanted to lose 20 pounds and I only lost 10. I just can’t lose weight.” 

Magnifying.“The whole world is against me.” “Self-management would take all my time.”

Personalizing. If someone’s in a bad mood or something goes wrong, it must be your fault. “Oh, Joe’s really in a bad mood. What did I say?”  

Steps to Turning Negative Thoughts Around:

1. Identify the negative thought. Write it down or repeat it aloud. Then rate how true you think it is on a scale of 1 – 10. 
2. Check the thought against reality. If your thought is, “I never do anything worthwhile,” ask yourself “is this really true?” Can you think of any counterexamples, even small ones? If your thought is, “Nobody wants to hear about my illness,” how do you know?  Try asking a trusted friend or family member and see how much they want to listen. 
3. Make a more balanced thought. Jane thinks, “I’ll never lose weight,” when in reality she loses weight just fine, but always gains it back. She could change to a more realistic, less hurtful thought like, “I can lose weight any time I want to. I need help in keeping it off, though.” Rate the truth of that thought from 1 – 10. Then go back and re-rate the original thought. You may no longer find the distorted thought so true. 
4. Be Your Own Best Friend. We’re usually harder on ourselves than on anyone else. When you struggle with a negative thought, pretend that your best friend was telling you that thought about themselves. Say Robert can’t find time to walk more than once a week. He has decided, “I just can’t get an exercise program going.” What would he say if his best friend said something like that? He could tell himself, “Look, it’s amazing how you work so hard and take care of your kids so well. I’m really proud of you for walking even one day a week. If you get some help with it, I’m sure you’ll succeed like you have in other areas of your life.” Repeat the balanced thought several times a day and any time the negative thought starts to come into your head. 

Over time, you may be able to make your thoughts more and more positive. You will find yourself less stressed and probably healthier as a result. If you need help with this process, you can see a counselor who specializes in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT).